Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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