It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
