we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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