Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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