I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
