i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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