At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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