So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
hell yes lets make some ravioli
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
