Whod you bang
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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