For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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