I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
