i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
