he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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