you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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