i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize