i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
