I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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