There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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