i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
