Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I believe in your delicious
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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