You made me cry and you don't even care
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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