Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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