i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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