Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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