i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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