all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
