Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
