Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Princesses don't give blow jobs
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize