ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
