dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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