your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
