also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
