Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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