There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
