Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Randomize
