remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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