dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
