I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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