god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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