It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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