That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
