It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
