am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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