It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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