First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
