You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
