She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
