Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
