He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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