He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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