Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
