So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
