Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
