i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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