My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
