i don't like sucking hair
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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