ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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