It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
