We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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