Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
