If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
