So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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