I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
